Family Portrait


I know this is a dark thought, but it comes to me more times than it should. Life is so good right now. We are so happy. Everyday is magic and it feels like we can live forever. There are more moments than I could possibly store in my long term memory of everyday beauty and sublimity. And yet, this part of Annabel Lee recites itself to me, making me afraid.

The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,
Went envying her and me—
Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

If ever the angels were jealous of something, it’d be my family. Am I the only one that fears happiness? I will hold tight to it while I have it, that is for sure. I will record it in my journal every night, as I do, and I will hope that these times last long. You know, despite sitting under the clouds with my two daughters in a field of long wavy grass, watching the dragon flies swarm between us and the setting sun, feeling complete and happy, I know things could get better if we keep at it. I know they can be worse, but I know there is even more happiness to be experienced.

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